There are no monsters, only scared little girls

The drum begins as I stand in journey space. I don’t want to be afraid of myself anymore I announce to the void. Please help me. I invoke the dragon Luna, the eagle version of myself, elephant and snake. Luna appears first. She is brilliant white. I am dazzled by her light. She smiles slyly at me and tells me to turn off my light. She disappears. See, she tells me, I am a reflection. Without your light I remain unseen. Turn your light back on she instructs me. Turning my light back on she appears luminous white again. If I am so luminous then why am Iso afraid of myself?  I am riding on the back of a giant elephant with a large serpent draped over my shoulders. Luna flies above us and higher still my eagle flies. There are several gates to move through so people who have been difficult in my life come. How I respond determines how far I get to go. Some I lecture, others I forgive all depending on where I am in the process. Some I am unable to let go yet, for those I say I am sorry, please forgive, me, thank you. I love you. As these visions begin to fade, I smell death, something rotting and decaying. I ask bear, wolf, and vulture to come and clean te death and decay. They begin devouring an unidentifiable corpse. I continue on the back of the elephant. The snake slides from my shoulders down onto the top of the elephant’s head. The snake places its head in the exact spot of the elephant’s third eye. We continue on. There is a monster me. I can feel her but can’t yet see her. She believes she has committed horrible acts, grievous sins against herself and others. There is a man looming over her saying how dangerous she is. She is just a child. He convinces her she is a monster when in fact he is. She believes him though. She believes she is the darkest part of herself and nor more, nothing redeemable, a monster. Over time she becomes deformed in many ways, a hunched back, severe facial deformities, a limp. Every part of her body diseased and malformed. The elephant kneels and I step down on her left knee descending to the ground to approach monster me. She faces me aggressively prepared to defend her grotesqueness at any cost. I place my hands on both side of her face and stare deep into her eyes. She is afraid. I send as much love as possible through my eyes to her eyes. Her defenses melt away and her sadness and grief and fear all come flooding out of her. She collapses into my arms crying. I whisk her away from this place taking her to the healing pool. She floats on the water’s surface as I tend to her. Washing her hair, face, arms, legs, back, stomach, there is nothing that is left untended. The water acts as a dissolvent. The monster she was so sure existed, washes away in the water. What is left, a little girl. I hold her tight to me hugging and crying for the love and relief that I have found her. She looks at me slightly confused. But I was a monster she says. I smile lovingly at her and reply, “There are no monsters, just scared little girls.”